God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him. #Ihatequotes
To understand, and loving me completely, first of all, a man must have a heart like a child, for I’m not smart woman, but I often behave like insane, and my mind wanders like a child uncontrollably. Only young children understand how I think and how I love trully, and at no reason, they would love me unconditionally.
I have a niece (2.5 years old) and a nephew (8 years old) who love me so much as their most loved Aunty Dina. It seems they are always in love with me constantly, I myself trully never understand why my presence is often expected to brighten up their days. My niece would be prepared waiting for me once she is told that I’d be paying her a visit of the week, while my nephew kept asking my mom about me when he visited me from out of town and it took me hours to arrive home seeing him.
As an Aunt, I never appeared so lovely and adorable to them, as they are to me; as a prize for being adorable, I often present them with their favorite donuts or bakery. It stays in the back of my niece’s mind the first time I brought her donuts; and my nephew remembered exactly the theatre where I took him to see movie for the first time with my past boyfriend three years ago.
I never thought that I would make a good mother to my children in the future. As a single woman, I live my life to the fullest, eventhough that I’m not in relationship with anyone at the moment, I still enjoy living my life securely.
It’s not easy to mingle with young children, as they have their own irrational language to communicate that is difficult to understand by any logical minded adults. Babysitting young children doesn’t mean I’m not only supervising them attentively, but I have to play along with them, following whereever their imagination wander in their lala land. nevertheless, their unstoppable excitement to keep playing all day long that made me begging them desperately to go to sleep, so I could call the day off and get some rest too.
In fact, tho they are still childish, I treated my niece and nephew in a mature way. I never tolerated any of them when they are being unreasonably crancky, unviolent disciplinary is my tool to deal with them when they started misbehaving. My way and my rule, they must follow my order, uncompromised. Surprisingly, no matter how disciplined I treated my niece and nephew, they sincerely follow my style of educating them, they seem to understand how I really care for them, and they still love me so much unconditionally.
Meanwhile in reality, I often wonder, why I kept failing in relationships; am I not loving enough that my past boyfriends felt that I’m a cold hearted person, who never understand to love men; and therefore,it’s difficult to love me as an adult. To me, it’s unfair for them not trying to understand me, while I had tried so hard to make all my relationships with them to work.
In my silence, i remember about my niece and nephew; I wish there’s a man who could love me like them. They seem to understand that no matter how beautiful or foolish I look to them, how cheerful or messy I might appear when we spend time together; they always have faith that I love them sincerely, and that made me lovable Aunty whom they love so much.
To understand and loving me completely, a man must have a heart like a child. I’m not asking for a pure soul because I’ll be making so much flaws against them, intentionally or unittentionally. A man who has faith like my niece and nephew; no matter what I do, it’s for his own goodness, and I care so much sincerely, and to love me unconditionally.
The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart. #lostwords
July 28, 2012
© Dina Kosasih
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